Saturday, December 2, 2006

I'm Still Alive

Finally Some Snow!Image by BrianWestChest via Flickr
I guess it's been over a month since I really wrote anything for the blog.  I've been in a strange mood over the last month.  It's probably from a combination of several things- not having much to say, being very busy with my start up company, the lack of sunlight (I struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder- when the days get short, my energy level decreases).  This used to lead to a short-term depression.  Now it's not so much depression as just lack of energy to do much in the evening after the sun goes down or in the morning before the sun comes up, leaving me a very short window this time of year to get things done.  I've been pouring the little energy I have into keeping the business and the home running.

Franky, another factor is that there aren't many comments left here.  It's a lot easier to get motivated to write if I know people are reading and care about what I'm writing.  Getting comments, even if they are negative or disagree with my POVs helps me feel like the blog is doing some good.  I should know better from the days when I used to evangelize and hope to score ticky points as I got someone to convert.  I finally realized that my job was not to cause the fruit to grow but to plant the seed.  I know that much of what we do in this life has a tremendous impact that we mostly will never see.  A kind word here.  An invitation there.  A path on the back that we think is no big deal.  These things can literally be life changing for others. We shouldn't allow the lack of feedback prevent us from always putting our best out there for the benefit of others.  So, lack of comments is not an acceptable excuse for not writing- bad Brian!

I guess the last thing that has kept me from writing so much here is I have become more and more convinced of Universalism and I've already put many of my reasons here.  I don't want to just keep saying the same things over and over again.  Also, if I'm being honest with myself, I think when I started this, part of the reason was to convince myself about universalism and to connect with like-minded people who could reinforce that belief.  I no longer need the reinforcement (at least not as much).  One of the best arguments I've ever heard for Universalism was also one of the simplest.  Someone asked a guy who came to a list I belong to how he became convinced of Universalism.  His answer was simply that he could not imaginge that he was better (more loving) than God.

Here we are two weeks from the Winter Solstice- the shortest day of the year.  I literally see this time of year as sinking sinking into a black hole.  But, the Winter Solstice brings hope because we're on the way back out as the days slowly get longer instead of shorter. I'm going to try to get more motivated to write.  At least this post is a first step. Pat on the back for me.  ;-)

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.  Talk soon...


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